Wanna Appear Stupid? Keep Saying These Malapropisms....

From my pet-peeves department: three common improperly-used phrases that makes the speaker seem careless, uneducated, or down-right stupid.

The Number One Thoughless, Habitual 100% Incorrect Usage

A person is trying to convey that they don't care the least little bit about something, so they say, "I could care less." Oh, the careful listener thinks, so you DO actually care to some degree, obviously, because you COULD CARE LESS. Stop saying this! If you don't care about something at all, say, "I COULDN'T care less," which clearly means you don't care at all.

My Number Two Most Frequently Annoying, Stupid Malaprop

A person is trying to say that a statement, concept, issue, etc. is irrelevant. But they say, "It's a MUTE point." Idiot! Of course it's a mute point (mute being silent, unable to talk), because points don't speak! 

What the poorly-educated speaker should have said is that it's a MOOT (rhyming with boot) point. The word, moot, means irrelevant.

An Unquestionably Wrong Malaprop

Someone wants to convey that something is, without exception, whatever it is. For example, a person is asked whether Joe Doaks is the best in the world at his profession. The respondant thinks that he is and tries to answer in the affirmative, saying, "Categorically, yes."

No! Moron! Your answer using the word, categorically, is a qualifier -- meaning that there are exceptions to your agreement.

If you want to totally, without-exception agree, then say "Uncategorically, yes."

So what language abuses and misuses are on your hit parade?

Oh, and jettison Mr. Bigly from 1600 Pennsyvania Ave  ASAP..